Parenting Teens Can Be a Difficult Task
How are you supposed to get on with the task of parenting teens when even the most basic questions that anyone would want to ask, throw up a barrage of resentment and exasperation in response? The way your teen would see it, there is just no other mother out there who is as maniacally obsessive about curbing her freedom, and no one as intrusive.
How it Can be Hard?
If you had a young child and he wanted to do something that wasn’t good for him, you would certainly have no trouble turning him down, with a little sternness, if needed. It wouldn’t really matter if he cried or kicked up a tantrum.
A teen can be a strange creature. They look like an adult, but still, seem to have the mind of a child. A person who is parenting teens in EU would understandably have a harder time ignoring a tantrum thrown by a teen.
Are You New to Parenting Teens?
Even mothers and fathers who are new to parenting teens do recognize that their adolescents just don’t seem entirely logical half the time. And they would be right. The way the human brain develops, not all areas grow consistently or uniformly. And what do you expect when that happens?
Some things seem more important than they need to be, like what their friends think of them, and others seem less important, like sensible basic rules about safety. Of course, some people never really outgrow what the scientists call “lopsided team development”. Like in the movie Stepmom, women openly wonder often if boys are such babies just to practice for the time that they would need to be husbands. But as insistent as your teen might get, it is important that you remember that behind all the sound and fury, your teen counts on you to keep providing a steady level of resistance.
You have to know that as unreasonable as he is, he almost never does anything entirely unreasonable. He knows how far to go by looking at the intensity of your resistance to his actions. All you need to do is to keep doing your job.
Dealing With Parenting Teens
So how do you know what exactly that is when you are parenting teens? Well, first you have to understand the rules of the game. Children are supposed to lie to their parents. It is their God-given right, to try to get away with as much as they can, while you try to catch them at it. There may not be much logic to the game, but there you have it.
As long as you don’t make a federal case of it, you need to keep trying to catch him at something and pretending that it is a huge deal if you did stumble on something, and he would have to pretend that it would be a huge deal if you did catch him. It’s a fun game and everyone gains. Just make it abundantly clear that there will be a few ground rules because you care for him. As troublesome as they are, he can allow you those if you make it clear that this is just something that parents have to do.
You probably see a thread here of discipline mixed with caring. Discipline works as long as your child sees from the constant demonstration that nothing in the world matters to you more than him. Your teen may behave very strangely, but somewhere in there is a human waiting to burst forth.
Just do all you need to do, with love and discipline, without taking too personally the over the top behavior you get from him. You need to be strong but not rigid. Parenting teens can be fun really, as long as you keep in mind that it’s not forever.
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