Are you having relationship issues? Do you want to grow a healthy, loving relationship? If so, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with relationship issues. But there is hope. You can overcome relationship issues and build a healthy, loving relationship with the right tools and information. This blog post will share tips for growing a healthy, loving relationship. We hope you find these tips helpful.
However, it doesn’t have to be hard! Anyone who tries to tell you differently is living in a fantasy land. You are here to take relationship issues to help.
Unfortunately, many of us have been brainwashed by a culture that promotes relationship fairytales which are at their best misleading and their worst downright damaging.
Rewards of the long-term relationship issues help:
Living with another human being does require patience, energy, and compromise, regardless of whether it is your lover or your flatmate. However, the rewards that come from a long-term happy relationship far outweigh the sacrifices and include:
- affection and intimacy
- friendship
- fewer medical problems
- shared goals can be important for relationship issues help
- higher satisfaction and meaning in life
- improved mental health
- longevity of lifespan
A brief outline of five simple strategies for growing a healthy, loving relationship follows. Many of us intellectually know that these related ways are essential, yet we fail to put them into practice.
Your relationship is your most valuable asset; please start treating it as such.
Priorities:
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Yes, your relationship with your lover comes first. A lover is the only person you can count on to be by your side until the end. Your parents will become old and pass on friends will come and go. Children will grow up and leave home to begin their own lives.
Your job will disappear, and your work colleagues along with it. But your partner is the only person who will accompany you on life’s journey; together, you can make an unbeatable team.
We live in a society that overvalues independence and sees anything else as undesirable or even a weakness. This, too, is a fantasy. Neuroscience tells us that your brain requires connecting to thrive and survive.
Interdependence is a healthier state to value: prioritize time spent with your partner and balance this with your interests, hobbies, and social networks.
Repair:
My grandmother always said, “never let the sun go down on an argument,” and she was right! People argue. This is a fact. Why? Because every single one of us has been raised in a unique environment.
Your childhood experience was different from that of your siblings simply because you were born into a different family dynamic: you are either the eldest, the youngest, or the in-between. Our differences attract us to others and, at times, repel us.
However long a disagreement lasts is always up to you. My guide is that you at least attempt to repair the disconnection caused by an argument by bedtime.
An even better goal is to aim to repair any damage immediately following a disagreement, if not throughout the conflict. How? Come up with a plan together for how to repair it. Ask each other what works; what would you need to feel soothed? What would your lover need?
Some people respond well to a gentle touch or a hug, others warm to humor, and others need some space to cool down. When your brain operates from its emotional center, you cannot think clearly and will say hurtful things. Timeout will help you always communicate with each other about when you will return.
Appreciate:
Tell your lover that you care about them every day. Too often in my practice, I hear partners say something like, “oh, but she knows I love her.” I am yet to meet a human being who has mastered that magical ability of mind reading.
Make it a habit to identify one quality about your partner that you admire and tell them about it daily. It might be better if you welcome them by name-calling.
This is a terrific ritual of passing down to your children. Make it a point each day to give them the gift of acknowledging a personal quality in them that you admire. This activity also benefits you because you are training your mind to focus on the good in others rather than the bad. Try it!
Communicate:
Yes, I know this is an obvious one. However, I guarantee that unless you have specific communication training, you probably don’t do it all that well. Create a ritual with your lover whereby you sit down for at least 20 minutes each day and share your stressors: who’s irritating you at work, what’s got you fit to be tied, and hopping mad today. Make eye contact and use reflective listening.
If done regularly (yes, daily!), this simple practice of ‘touching base’ has been proven to provide a buffer against stress while simultaneously keeping you connected. Share your thoughts. Once again, your lover does not have magical powers and cannot read your mind.
Be self-aware:
It is probably the most important skill. Unfortunately, our brains are wired in such a way that we are often reactive rather than responsive.
You are wired to act on past information and memories rather than what is happening in the present moment. Your mind automatically looks for reasons and stories to explain events that cause you to feel wounded.
For many of us, our mind also looks for a perpetrator, someone else to blame. This is extremely unfortunate as it means you become a victim, powerless, as you cannot change another person’s behavior, only your own.
When you constantly focus on what the other person is doing wrong, you lose the ability to look at what you might be able to do differently. Choose to be the hero in your relationship!
These are brief self-help tips and may not apply to your relationship’s circumstances, mainly if behaviors such as violence, affairs, or addictions occur. If this is the case, you will benefit from discussing your situation with a qualified, experienced psychologist. In this way, you can get compelling relationship issues to help. You may like “How to overcome jealousy in relationships and get positive yourself.”