Everybody with Social phobia Symptoms will focus all their thoughts and feelings on how they feel to feel better or, in this case, more comfortable.
If you also have Social phobia symptoms, you need to focus outward. And this can be as simple as noticing what is happening around you as opposed to how you feel about what’s happening around you.
In a new situation, you will automatically focus inward. What I mean is that a unique position will and can make you feel so overwhelmed that all your thoughts are focused on the inside of you and how you think.
And this is the biggest mistake that someone with such anxiety can make. Well, I say error. It’s not a mistake. It is an automatic reaction to a stressful situation.
- Positive inner self-talk is your path to reducing your social phobia
- New situations will make you feel anxious, but that doesn’t mean you should avoid these situations
- Your feelings can never hurt you, but you can convince yourself that they will
Four Social Phobia Reducing Effective Tips:
Four steps are all you need to reduce your anxiety in social situations and calm your physical symptoms.
Step 1: Simple things to do to focus your attention outward
- The simplest thing you can do is
- Count the number of people that are around you
- Notice how many different colors are in the environment
- How many people have blue eyes?
- How many people have red hair?
- What do you think others do for a living?
- What fun thing have you done before that this event reminds you of?
- The list is numerous; you will notice your anxiety falling when you do this.
Step 2: Note how you feel.
After you have focused your attention on some objects outside, you will start to feel more comfortable because your mind cannot simultaneously focus on feelings or something outside of you. And this is the great thing about how our minds work.
So note how you feel before you focus away and after, and especially notice what makes you calm down so you can use this again.
Step 3: Cultivate positive inner self-talk
Once you start to feel more comfortable, which you will, all you have to do is say this to yourself whenever a thought or feeling arises that makes you feel uncomfortable,
“Putting my anxious feelings to one side for a moment, what’s going on outside of me at this moment in time?”
You will train your feelings not to overwhelm you by saying this and repeating it repeatedly. And this is how you can make yourself feel better by cultivating inner self-talk. As long as you say something like the above-using phrases such as:
- Aside from how I’m feeling at the moment…
- Putting my feelings to one side for a minute…
- What else is going on that I can focus on besides what I’m feeling?
- Then, you will start to feel better.
And you’ll also notice that using those kinds of words will make your mind see that as a command and automatically lower your anxiety. Now I know that sounds slightly strange, but try it, and you will surprise yourself with just how much you can control your feelings. Some natural remedies also can make you calm.
Step 4: Rinse and repeat.
All you need to do now is keep doing the same thing repeatedly, which is basically what you’ve been doing anyway when you make yourself feel anxious. Still, you will do something this time to make you feel better and more comfortable.
The most straightforward strategies can be best:
So, that’s it really; feeling comfortable in a new situation in the short term is about getting you to focus on yourself on anything in the environment.
It can feel counterintuitive because fear will make you believe that the situation is causing anxiety inside you and make you want to avoid it somehow. But by actually focusing outside of your feelings, you are allowing yourself breathing space to react differently, which is precisely what you need to calm yourself down and feel more comfortable.
Once you’ve done this, you can consciously decide what to do next. you can read The Three Worst Ways to Cope With The Physical Symptoms of Anxiety
Things to remember:
- Your feelings cannot ever, ever, ever, ever hurt you.
- Your feelings are messages from your unconscious mind telling you that you need to meet your needs somehow, but this is not to avoid the situation in which the anxiety occurred.
- Avoiding situations that make you fearful will make you feel more insecure and less comfortable in new situations.
- By facing your fears one step at a time, you will unconsciously signal to yourself that you are strong enough to cope with new situations.
- If you take action by doing the above steps, you will reduce your social phobia and build more confidence.
This is extremely important because when you get this, you’ll understand that your automatic reactions to new situations are unconscious, not conscious.
So, no amount of beating yourself up for telling yourself you’re no good or wondering why you’re unable to do things will change how you feel in a new situation, but doing the above steps will.