How do you Explain Infatuation Vs Love to someone who has never experienced either?
Who can say no to the excitement of a new crush? What if your crush becomes a new fling? There will be firework displays. Making yourself available to someone new is both terrifying and exciting. When you’re smitten with everything about your partner, it’s all too easy to dive right in. Infatuation, whether falling or somewhere under the umbrella of romantic obsession, can be intense at times.
I used to think that infatuation was a natural part of love. I thought they were mutually beneficial until I tried them both and discovered they couldn’t coexist. Too many people believe they are in love with someone simply because they are amazing. They can’t stop thinking about them, but the truth is that the intensity that comes with truly liking someone is not always loved.
Today I am going to meet with Raju Akon, Clinical and Counseling Psychologist. He provided in-depth information on Infatuation and Love. Let’s check what does it really mean:
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Infatuation is Basically Flimsy Love
Infatuation is defined as an intense physical attraction to someone. A person who is in love finds it difficult to think of anything other than the other person.
Brief encounters are replayed in one’s head; it may be difficult to eat, and there may be a state of arousal that is rather constant. Infatuation is rather obvious.
If someone first-time experiences infatuation, he/she will be confident that he/she will ‘never feel this way again and that this person is ‘the one.
After all, the body and mind react to them so powerfully and consistently that it’s hard to imagine a life worth living without them at its heart.
This is not the case, as if people who are vulnerable to infatuations will have many in their life.
Three Basic Components of Love :
There are three key components of love, according to Sternberg (1988):
The presence or absence of each of these components affects love relationships in different ways.
The intense physical attraction that partners feel for one another is referred to as passion.
Intimacy is defined as the ability to share feelings, personal thoughts, and psychological closeness with another person.
Commitment is the deliberate decision to remain together.
In the early stages of a relationship, passion can be found, but intimacy takes time to develop because it is based on the knowledge of the partner. Partners may decide to stay in a relationship once intimacy has been established.
Is it True that Infatuation is a Negative Emotion?
Infatuation is fairly common among teenagers and pre-teens.
Infatuation helps us learn who we are drawn to when we are young and still developing our faith.
Our brains are still developing, and our hormones are changing. Our bodies are awakening to the fact that they are drawn to others while we are infatuated. So, at this stage, infatuation is kind of normal.
But at our adult stage of life, we discover that infatuation is just the beginning and that we must also consider other factors. We take into account common interests and beliefs, as well as how the individual treats us. So, when we don’t consider these factors before jumping into a relationship, infatuation basically works as negative emotion when things start to get messy.
Knowing the Difference Between Infatuation and Love:
Sometimes it may difficult to find out the difference between infatuation and love.
Many relationships begin with a healthy dose of adoration. The fiery initial period of infatuation in healthy relationships is temporary, giving way to a true partnership founded on mutual confidence and affection rather than an obsessive attachment to the other individual.
When infatuation fades from a relationship, it doesn’t mean that the couple no longer cares for each other; rather, it means that the relationship has matured into a more stable, reciprocal bond.
As infatuation fuels fear, the relationship either ends quickly or drags on as the infatuation transforms into a dangerous attraction to the other person.
So, take a step back and listen to your gut if you or a romantic partner is becoming too intense, obsessed, or controlling. If you’re in a relationship or not, being aware of how a relationship or individual makes you feel can be extremely beneficial.
Still unsure whether your relationship is based on shared interests or infatuation? Face the following questions to yourself:
1. Do you Guys Have Similar Strong Feelings?
This may seem self-evident, but the prism of infatuation has a curious way of translating signs and signals from your significant other into whatever color best serves your current narrative. A Facebook-like or a vague answer to a text message can mean the world when you’re high. When you’re down, the same reaction will completely derail your day.
Even if you disagree, being direct and knowing where each other stands is a symbol of a good partnership.
2. Are you Guys Ignoring Your Responsibilities?
Since there’s a sense of urgency, as though your friendship would disappear into thin air if you turn away, infatuation throws your priorities out of whack.
You neglect your friends, family, and school obligations, believing that spending time with the object of your adoration is more important.
You might even find yourself putting your life on hold so that you can still be there for your partner.
When you love somebody, the way they live their life inspires you. You don’t have to be with them at all times of the day! Love respects people’s limits and allows them to live satisfying lives on their own terms.
3. Are you Behaving in a Typical Manner?
Consider the things you normally do to make yourself happy and see if any of your desires have changed to match the object of your adoration.
It’s always fun to open up and learn new things from a special person, but you should never feel obligated to hide or alter who you are in order to please your partner.
4. To What Extent does Jealousy Play a Role?
Do you find yourself keeping tabs on your significant other’s social media activity? Are you hurt or worried if they like someone’s posts too frequently? Or, even worse, are you comparing yourself to their ex on social media?
Jealousy is unattractive and possessive, and it stems from a sense of danger and insecurity.
It’s difficult not to focus on the things that make us jealous, but the most useful question to ask yourself is what your jealousy really means about your relationship.
What is it about him/her that makes you so insecure?
Although jealousy can arise in any relationship, the more you discuss it when it arises and stay open and truthful with your partner about how you’re feeling, the more confidence and intimacy you’ll develop.
5. If you’re Overthinking your Relationship or Trying to Figure out How They’re Feeling… It’s
Love is a two-way street. On the other hand, infatuation is often one-sided. If you’re in love, you could spend a lot of time wondering if they’re really into you or if they’re loyal to you. You could obsess about minor details, such as what to text them in the middle of the day if they haven’t texted you yet your relationship is full of doubt, it isn’t yet loved.
6. It is Love if You Know You Can Depend on Them in a Crisis.
Assume your car breaks down or you learn that a loved one is in the hospital. Will you make contact with the person in question?
It’s love if you know you’ll be welcomed with warm, welcoming, and soothing gestures if you say yes. It’s probably infatuation if you think a crisis will be “too much” for the individual to handle.
Moreover, it’s probably infatuation if you think a crisis will be “too much” for the individual to handle. Love has scope, and it isn’t fazed by difficulties. Love endures.
7. If Your Relationship is Primarily Physical in Nature… It’s Infatuation.
Consider how much time you spend with the person you’re seeing. Is sex a significant part of it? Will, you (or they) prefer to hook up instead of going out?
Can you chat after you’ve gotten physical, or do you find it difficult to talk about “true stuff” outside the bedroom?
Do you go on dates, catch up with friends, relatives, and participate in hobbies? Or do you have to have sex at every get-together?
In any romantic relationship, sex is extremely significant. Love, on the other hand, does not seem to be the primary subject. It appears to be an additional, exciting way to express your affection for your partner.
Is it Love or Infatuation, Then?
It’s important not to feel embarrassed if any of these topics resonate with you.
Society allows us to lose ourselves in this flimsy concept of love, just to make us feel like losers when it all falls apart.
Understanding how easy it is to slip into these habits can not only help you avoid abusive relationships, but it can also help you treat yourself with kindness when you rebound from an unhealthy relationship or fixation.
What do you do if You’re Infatuated?
I want to emphasize that infatuation is not a negative thing; it is the beginning of many wonderful relationships. To get to a place of love, however, all parties must “do the work” and be truly open to falling. It will never grow if you aren’t still on the same page. You just have to put in the effort if you want love, not just lust.
1. Prioritize Date Nights Over Sex Nights.
If your emotional relationship hasn’t progressed, get out of a situation (like at home) where you’ll be tempted to get distracted. Instead, go for a stroll or a hike. Take a bottle of wine to the park and have a picnic. Take a short road trip together. Put yourself in positions where you can have a chat and get to know each other.
2. Ask Honest Questions and Be Also Give Honest Answers to Serious Questions!!
You must go beyond the person’s everyday life and into the realm of their dreams. You should feel free to ask where they see their life going if you’ve been dating for a while—at least a few months—if they want kids, if they want to get married one day, if they want to fly, and what kind of life they want to have.
This is how you can tell if you’re moving in the same direction as each other and if you’ll be able to help each other along the way.
Many people don’t ask the tough questions, and as a result, they waste time with someone who isn’t in it for the same reasons they are (i.e. marriage, kids, commitment).
3. Make a Phone Call
When I was dating, there was a strange sign that someone who was serious about developing a relationship with me would do: they’d call me on the phone.
Even if you can’t be physically present with others, hearing their voice and exchanging stories verbally builds a stronger connection and demonstrates your commitment to the job.
Sending a text takes ten seconds; making a phone call takes time to set aside. Make it a priority and tell your partner to do it.
4. Accept the Fact that the Majority of People do not Get What They Want
A harsh reality of life is that sometimes things feel inexplicably right for us,
So we must let go of the chance of getting them. No matter how beautiful this individual is or how enthralling their mind is to you, your link with them (if there is one) is clearly not developing into a relationship.
You must move on from this and resume living for yourself, setting goals, and keeping yourself productive.
Last of all, keep in mind that, while infatuation can be entertaining at times, it is inevitably fleeting and unsustainable.
You may get swept up in the vortex to the point that you can’t or won’t see who the person really is. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Remember, it’s always better to keep yourself safe from possible heartbreak until you’re sure it’ll work out.
If you’re still not sure what you’re feeling, some time away from the object of your affections can reveal what you need to know.
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